Records
Its been ages since I've written here. I looked back at some of the articles and found myself fondly remembering an aspect of being in England, which is odd considering the period of isolation it embodies. Sitting alone in the library computer lab discussing feminine theology to my friend thousands of miles away! It was so neccesary at the time. I needed something. It makes sense that one simply needs certain releases, outlets, forums at one point in their life that they depart from and then come back to again.
It reminds me of my "diaries" from when I was a child. I'd keep a diary perfectly for about a week, write a bit every month or two, and then loose interest entirely. I'd feel compelled to keep up with my same standard length or quality of entry though I was never forced to do anything. I always wanted it to be great. I never did like being forced to do the same thing, every day, voluntarily.
Eventually I transitioned to what I'd call - a journal-like notebook. It had no dates and only quasi-specifics, but I could just write my thoughts and observations about life. I particularly felt the need to do descriptives, where I wrote what my life was like for a day - the patterns, people, places, looks, smells, personalities. It didn't matter that it didn't have time. Time was a restraint that I didn't really care to think about or want to be confined to if I stopped once sentence one day and picked up at that thought in the next.
In some ways I think that's what this blog is for me. That it is something that people really don't see, but perhaps I almost wish they could. Like a diary. Thoughts you need to write down, and need to come back to. It makes me smile to think of the things I thought about, what I think now, and what that means. It tells me my approach to writing hasn't changed greatly in 21 years. Some periods are very intense, and some are almost void of any written intellectual investigation.
Can you study theology like this? In spurts and pats, whims and intensities that never really go away but recede to focus on something even more - people, real life, love, work, sleep. Integrating a hobby with a career, an interest with a vocation. Will it loose its meaning for me? Is it permissible to have spats in this pursuit?
It reminds me of my "diaries" from when I was a child. I'd keep a diary perfectly for about a week, write a bit every month or two, and then loose interest entirely. I'd feel compelled to keep up with my same standard length or quality of entry though I was never forced to do anything. I always wanted it to be great. I never did like being forced to do the same thing, every day, voluntarily.
Eventually I transitioned to what I'd call - a journal-like notebook. It had no dates and only quasi-specifics, but I could just write my thoughts and observations about life. I particularly felt the need to do descriptives, where I wrote what my life was like for a day - the patterns, people, places, looks, smells, personalities. It didn't matter that it didn't have time. Time was a restraint that I didn't really care to think about or want to be confined to if I stopped once sentence one day and picked up at that thought in the next.
In some ways I think that's what this blog is for me. That it is something that people really don't see, but perhaps I almost wish they could. Like a diary. Thoughts you need to write down, and need to come back to. It makes me smile to think of the things I thought about, what I think now, and what that means. It tells me my approach to writing hasn't changed greatly in 21 years. Some periods are very intense, and some are almost void of any written intellectual investigation.
Can you study theology like this? In spurts and pats, whims and intensities that never really go away but recede to focus on something even more - people, real life, love, work, sleep. Integrating a hobby with a career, an interest with a vocation. Will it loose its meaning for me? Is it permissible to have spats in this pursuit?
posted by Silabella @ 8:02 PM
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